Should you click?: Charlie Sheen, Amanda Bynes, Ice-T, Nicholas Sparks

07 Oct 2014 20:19

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So much celebrity news, so little time! As the headlines rush towards you faster and faster ever day, it becomes ever more important to make savvy snap judgments about what to click and what not to click. We treasure the community service offered by Saved You a Click, the Twitter feed that's been spoiling clickbait headlines since 2014 - but isn't it more important you learn how to make these crucial decisions yourself? Let's put your critical-thinking skills to work on some of the week's most ambiguously tantalizing headlines. (Washington Post headlines not eligible for consideration.)
Charlie Sheen Sued For Sexual Battery After Visit to Dentist's Office Goes Wrong (People)
Should you click?: No.
Why not?: The headline tells you 70 percent of what you could possibly ever need to know; your imagination and prior knowledge of Charlie Sheen can probably fill in the remaining 30 percent with a high degree of accuracy.
Magazine editor suffers concussion at Ellen Pompeo's home (New York Post)
Should you click?: No.
Why not?: If this involved the "Grey's Anatomy" star punching the editor of Vogue in the head, then we would have seen "Wintour" and "brawl" in the headline. But it doesn't, so obviously, it's a mundane slip-and-fall by some non-famous journalist.
Exclusive - Amanda Bynes Tells 'In Touch': 'I'm Engaged! ' (In Touch)
Should you click?: No.
Why not?: Listen - she's a sad, fame-damaged girl with a tendency to act out. She's almost certainly not really engaged, and so what if she is? She's barely even famous anymore. Whatever this story says, it has nothing for you.
Ice-T and Coco's neighbors fed up with construction (New York Post)
Should you click?: No.
Why not?: You know who else is fed up with construction? The neighbors of any house undergoing construction, whether or not a rapper or reality star is involved - and you're not interested in hearing them complain, are you? Move on!
Should you click?: No.
Why not?: Every celebrity has a stalker. Every celebrity has a swimming pool. Every celebrity stalker is crazy and sad. You already know this story even if you think you don't.
Nicholas Sparks Called Out As An Anti-Semitic, Racist Homophobe In A Lawsuit (Dlisted)
Should you click?: Okay, sure.
Why?: Isn't he that guy who writes those mushy romance novels? Who could possibly be suing him for anti-semitism or racism?
Are you glad you clicked?: No. It's just a rewrite of an AP story whose simpler headline ( Ex-head of school founded by novelist Sparks sues) told us all we needed to know to not bother to click.
Should have clicked on: The Amanda Bynes story instead. It's not too late!


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